Expose Yourself- Day 2

D2: I am influenced by... These people (and things) always tend to steer me in the right direction no matter what the circumstances. My parents have been happily married for 34 years and are going strong. I hope to one day have the marriage they have. My best friend has been there for me through thick and thin. I moved across the country with a boy, and can honestly say that I'm proud of myself for taking that leap. My son keeps me going every day. And the thing that I am probably most "influenced" by is my past. I grew up in an incredibly diverse town in Northern California, and learned so much more because of the diversity than I could have ever learned anywhere else.

Expose Yourself- Day 1

Ok, so it's late, and I waited until last minute so it's not as perfect as I had hoped, but here it is, my best trait.

I think my best trait is my ability to FORGIVE, but never FORGET. I can think of MANY different times that I forgave someone, but those things I forgave them for will always be in my head, and make me who I am. Forgiveness is like a shadow that will always follow you around, as much as you wish you could run away from the problem or situation, you can never truly forget it.

house, jayden, work, and pictures!

I haven't updated this in a LONG time it seems.
House
Work
Jayden

Soooo. I'm undertaking another photography challenege starting on monday. It's called the Expose yourself challenge. Here are the guidelines.
Day 1- My best trait
Day 2- I am influenced by
Day 3- Me in one object
Day 4- My biggest mistake
Day 5- Apple of my eye
Day 6- My favorite fairy tale
Day 7- Business and pleasure
Day 8- (not so) black and white
Day 9- My alter ego
Day 10- I need to change
Day 11- My inspiration
Day 12- When I grow up
Day 13- I love that i am
Day 14- I have grown

So it should be fun and challenging.

What else?

We are moving forward on building our house. It's going to take until December to finish it, but baby steps. =] we had our final consult for the interior (cabinets, carpet, flooring, paint, appliances, countertops, etc). We picked out our lot and everything. I'm going to start doing a bi-weekly picture of the progress i hope. They haven't broken ground yet, but once they open the street i'll do it. I'm excited and nervous, because i know this is just the first step. AJ and I have very "expensive" taste, so we're going to want to update a lot of things we didnt add on at the design center. We just got stock faucets, door handles, etc... and we're going to want to update them. Pluse furnishings and decorations. I just have to constantly remind myself of "baby steps."

I've been kind of looking for a new job, but after the shennagins this weekend think it may get put back on the backburner. I was scheduled to work thurs fri and sat this week, but then found out our sitter is out of town, we had people scheduled to watch lil man, but then they were late and i almost didnt make it to work. I just don't like feeling like my "career" is lower priority so I dono. Right now it definitely is because AJ makes good money on the railroad, and there is no set schedule so I have to be able to watch jayden 24/7... Im not going to sign on to a job knowing that his job will still take priority over mine... so backburner that is.

I've been wanting to do a scrapbook for a LONG time now. I actually have at least three I want to do, but I can't really find the time to do it. Plus I don't have any pictures printed up. I need to do my 365 from last year, a yearly one, and a jayden 0-6 months. Hopefully I can get one of them done in the next couple months. I'm thinking I may just order one from my printing company. it costs like $120 but i think it may be worth it.. we'll see.

Jayden is crawling, almost walking. HUGE! Into EVERYTHING! I'm so excited because i get to get him a whole new wardrobe soon for winter. SO much cute stuff. I just have to wait another month or so, that way it cools down and I can convince daddy that he needs them. hehe.

Anyhoo. that's all I have for now. I'm home alone (this never happens), so I think im going to try and enjoy it somehow. haha.

rev up!

I have decided to start my p90x back up... I have HARDCORE been slacking on staying in shape. I have gained 18lbs since my pregnancy, which may seem legit, but mind you, i went down to my pp weight about a week after giving birth... so technically, i put on 18lbs since giving birth... its hard to get time to go to the gym because i have to take jayden with me... and he sure as hell isnt going to sit and be a good boy while momma is on the elliptical.. boo... so p90x it is... before i did it in the morning, which i think was bad because it basically took up my WHOLE morning, so now, i'm going to try to do it after jayden goes to bed. I usually stay up until 10 or so anyways. may as well work out instead of sit and watch tv!

Dieting is not for me... in any way. I have NO self control when it comes to eating... so i'm not even going to try. the only thing i can cut out that i know is bad for me is coke. i can not drink it at home... no problem, the problem is that aj is a bad influence and buys it anyways. grr.

wish me luck. my goal is to lose 7 lbs by the 1st of next month. i'll keep you posted!!!

Build your own?

Ok, so kinda a lot has happened since my last post...

We had the inspection on the house, and well, just to get it up to city code, it would be about $12,000. Which, essentially would jack the price of that house up to $200,000 without even doing any work WE wanted to do. So we withdrew our bid. Sad, but happy at the same time.

We started to get really antsy, because once we decided to back out of that house, the pressure was on. Our lease ends on October 6, so we'd REALLY like to be out by then to avoid going month-to-month, which generally is an extra $300+ per month... We looked for more houses, and it seems like the SECOND we found one, I'd get an email that it was under contract. Grr.

Yesterday we went driving around Green Valley Ranch to see if there were any houses for sale, and happened upon a new development. We walked though all of the model homes, and are pretty sure that we're going to just build a house!! YAY! We get to completely customize the house, floor layout, cabinets, countertops, carpets, cutouts, wall colors, EVERYTHING basically, and all for about the same price as if we bought a house that was built in the 80's. The only problem is that it takes 4-5 months to build the house, so we wouldn't be able to move in until the end of November... so we'd have one-two months of month-to-month... but i'm thinking that it might be ok because in every other instance, the first two months of a mortgage are "free." So if we could manage to move in on Dec 1, then we wouldn't have a house payment for December or January.

So that's what's going n with that.

Holy heck!

Sooooo it's been a minute.

Lets see... We got a house. haha. We went to look at a few houses with our agent a few weeks ago, put an offer in on a HUD house, thinking we weren't going to get it, and never fail, five days later our agent called and said we got it. So far we've signed some paperwork and did the inspection. The inspection didn't go as well as we had hoped. We need to get a bunch of electrical fixed, a new furnace (ouch), and AC (but might wait till next spring for that part, and a new water heater, among a BUNCH of other little things. The celings have the "popcorn" celing, which i'm ok with, eventually I'll wanna fix that because it's tacky and not very healthy, but then when AJ found out that it might have asbestos, he freaked and decided that fixing that would be one of the main priorities. There's a BUNCH of projects that need to be done to that house, but in moderation. I'm thinking that new paint on the walls, and cabinets/trim, some new carpet, a new master bath and we should be good. The backyard is HUGE, it's the size of the two backyards behind us put together, no joke.

So that's the biggest thing on our plate right now.

My mom and dad are coming tomorrow, which i'm SOO excited about. I feel like I have so much I want to do, but then I try to plan it out and it doesnt seem like it. I know we for sure wanna go to Garden of the Gods. Then on Thursday dad wants to go to the Rockies game, and while we're down there probably go to lunch at the Wynkoop brewery. I want to take them to BJ's, and Village Inn for Pie Rush Wednesday, and I have to make Cabbage burgers. Ahhhh.

AJ has been working NON-stop. He left for work on Friday at 4pm, and is just now coming home today, Sunday, at 1. =[ Before that he went to work on Tuesday at midnigt, and got back Friday at 2am... lame...

Jayden is on the edge of crawling, but I really don't think he's going to for very long, I think he'll transition into walking pretty quickly.

I have another wedding booked the end of this month, and then a family shoot right after that. i'm excited because the family shoot they've already expressed interest in ordering a huge canvas. =]

Nate & Alyssa got married a couple weeks ago! Soooo happy for them!!

Ok, baby is awake. gotta run!!!

busy summer bee.... summer school= BAD idea

Goodness am I overwhelmed.

I had to drop Spanish 1 because it was way too intense for a 4 week course. I was sure that I wasn't going to get the "C" that I needed in order to not have major consequences, so I dropped it. And added criminal law. Man was that a mistake. I have had 3 assignments (of 10) due so far, spent AT LEAST 4 hours on each, and haven't gotten better than a 60%. I'm nervous. If I don't get a 'C' then we will probably have to pay around $5000. I emailed my professor to see if there is anything that I can do. Hopefully he writes back.

Other than that, our time is quickly dwindling to get our CO drivers licenses. Maybe have like 7 days?? Hopefully we have at least that, before our insurance is cancelled. We spent 2 hours at the DMV a couple weeks ago before they told us we didnt have the proper paperwork and we would have to come back. Grrr. I'm hoping to get mine done on Monday, it's just a pain because if AJ can't go with me, I have to get a sitter for Jayden.

I also have a TON of pictures to edit. I still have to finish Jessica's senior pictures, and then tackle the mountain (of 1300) pictures from Christina's wedding. That's gonna hit the back burner until I finish my criminal law hw that is due this week though.

We're also in the process of house hunting. Oi. Frustrating. We've put 3 offers in so far. Have heard back from one, and they pushed us out of that one (sad face), but still have two out there. We'll hear back about one on the 5th for sure (it's gov't owned, so they have a date set), but the other one could be a while. We've got 5 more that we're going to look at this week. It's just an exhausting process.

Ok, I'm off to read about Colorado Histoy for another class.

What I wouldn't give to just escape at the gym for an hour right now... soon grasshopper, soon.

I'll leave you with a couple from our Alliance trip this weekend.

Jessica and Kameron- Senior photos

busybeeeeeee

So I only have 15 minutes before I hanker down and do homework for the rest of the night, but I felt the need to update on my life.

Lindsey came out from Lincoln. I miss her SO much. I literally feel more at home when she is here. Hopefully within the next year she'll move out here. I figure I'll give her one more year, then I'm giving up all hope.
We went out downtown on Saturday night. It was amazing fun. I have never been downtown in Denver, and it was a blast. We got all dressed up, took a taxi and all went to Tavern. AJ's BN buddy, Taylor, came out with us, it was good getting to know him a bit more. He fits in now. =] Alyssa and Nate were there too, good fun. Plus my bell, I was in heaven. I rolled my ankle running after AJ who was running after a van cab... really bad. I was in 6 inch heels, so rolling it was 50 times worse. I couldn't walk on it the next day, and, five days later, am still a little hobbily on it. =[ hopefully it gets good enough by tomorrow for work, because I sure do need the cash. =[

I feel like my photography is really starting to take off. I am doing Jessica and her friend Kameron's senior pictures this weekend. Then on the 18th I am doing Christina's wedding. I booked another wedding in Alliance on July 22 (Matt's sister). I'm worried that after that I'm going to hit a wall though... hopefully not.

I'm taking summer classes. Spanish one, 5 credits in 4 weeks. Plus a Colorado History class, the same 4 weeks, which is 3 credits. UGH. I'm going to be beyond busy this month, esp since Jessica is going out of town around the 20th... Which is exactly why I am going to be doing homework for the rest of the night.

Goodnight.

May reflections

1. Favorite song/band of the month: Jason Aldean =]
2. Favorite 365 picture of the month: 130 or 141. or 148!
3. Best memory from month: Ahh so many. Went to California, then my bell came out to see me!!
4. Biggest milestone for Jayden: sitting up by himself (sometimes), standing while holding on to something.
5. Biggest accomplishment of the month: Convincing AJ to stick to school
6. Goal for next month: Stay focused. Lots going on this month.
7. Favorite piece of clothing: Shorts.
8. Which (if any) other resolutions did you accomplish?: Final grades posted, all B's!! deep cleaned apartment. second california trip in the books!

loving praise

Oops, over a week. my bad.

Lindsey is coming this week, I'm pretty stoked. Gonna take her down to Garden of the God's to do a small shoot {{escittteeedddd}!! and Saturday night we're going to go downtown! wahooo!!!

had a good weekend at work (definitely not because I made money, because I didnt), but because I got a lot of positive feedback from the managers. Brian, thank goodness, was not working at all this weekend, so it was stress-free. Mike Martin told me I need to work more often because "I'm a good worker, and he can always count on me." which was odd because I was sure he didn't like me. and then when I was doing my check-out Elka said, "I need to tell you something." Never comforting coming from a manager. she said, "You have become an absolute JOY to work with, I actually look forward to working with you more than other servers now." Wow, wasn't expecting that from her either. It was nice getting such positive feedback, especially since I had been questioning why I was working there still with the way the employees get treated, but now I know it's all Brian. UGH.

This semester is finally over, YAY! I managed to get all B's. GO me! now I have about a week before summer classes start (shoot me now). I have a spanish class that is only 5 weeks, and 5 credits! EEEK! it's gonna be intense. Plus two other classes.

June will be busy. I'm doing senior pictures for jessica and her friend kameron. christina's wedding, and picking up an extra class. oi! but i'm excited that once I get paid from christina I can order some standout prints for Jayden's room. =]!!!!!!! I found an awesome site (WHCC) that has some great prices and products!

Jayden is big...ger.. boo. but he's also more entertaining these days. It makes me SOO sad when he knows i'm going to work and starts crying when I go to leave. breaks my heart, but it's only a couple nights a week, and a momma needs her time.

Tomorrow I'm heading down to Castle Rock to go to the outlets to hopefully return his shoes, and maybe get him some new stuff. maybe that's why i shouldn't go. haha. but I have to do that, figure out books for summer school.... write fitness 19 to cancel membership, check application status at metro... (sorry for the laundry list, otherwise I'll forget).

Ok. gonna go play with lil man while he's happy!!!!

Homesick for HOME

So I never updated on my trip to California.

We didn't really do much. Jayden was a dream on the plane both ways, he just got a little fussy towards the end, but that's probably because he got bored.

I saw my grandparents. They look so frail these days. I was scared to let my gma hold Jayden because I was scared she wouldn't be able to handle him (he is pretty "jumpy" these days). My mom and I went over there for dinner a couple nights, which was nice. I made cabbage burgers for them one night, and they seemed to really enjoy them, which made me happy.

It was really good to spend time with my mom. She's probably the person I miss the most about California.

I went up to Oceanside a couple days. Wednesday I went up to the beach and some thrifting with Emily. Then again on Thursday. We went to BJ's for lunch, then some shopping, and then got my AWESOME haircut. I got to go out with Jessica, Emily, James, and Alfie that night (and after Ryan closed BJ's he came out too). We stayed up until about 5:30 taking about the most random things. Helped me realize all that I was missing, and what I'm not missing.

Friday we went to Mission Valley and ate lunch at Ruby's, then went to my grandparents and then to the park to take some family photos. I was a littl dissapointed because everyone was late, which made lighting terrible, so the majority of my pictures have a nasty shadow on them. I got *some* good ones, but nothing I'm terribly proud of, they're just kind of bleh. But regardless I'm going to post them. =]
We went out for pizza afterwards, which was nice. Got to chit chat with the family for a bit. Jayden was a peach. =] We went home, put him to bed, and then I went out for a drink with Tom. It was good catching up, and it's kind of funny to me how little he has changed. Honestly, I'm glad that the things that happened did, I'm so much happier now than I was, or would be. I guess the grass really is greener.

On Saturday I headed home. It sucked because the whole week I was in San Diego, AJ didn't get called to work. Then, Friday night, he got called for a two day trip. Nate picked us up from the airport and took us home. AJ got home around noon on Sunday (Mother's Day), with flowers and a card (saying that when I want a massage to let him know and he'll pay for it). He took me out to dinner later that night too.

It was good to get away for a little bit, to catch up with old friends and see my family, but it was better to be home with AJ and my kitties.

Laundry List Dos

Things to do:
-Get on a routine
-Update resume
-Apply for more management jobs
-Learn camera better
-Research what lens to rent for Mulhern wedding
-Get website on google top 10
-Put 1/2 money away for 24-hour fitness membership
-Carpets cleaned
-Perfect the victoria's secret blowout =]
-Catch up on Spanish

April reflections

1. Favorite song/band of the month: "Fly over states" Jason Aldean (he mentions the bnsf in it!)
2. Favorite 365 picture of the month: Day 93 or 107... =]
3. Best memory from month: knowing summer is almost here
4. Biggest milestone for Jayden: he "walks" if you hold his hands.
5. Biggest accomplishment of the month: school! on track to get A's!
6. Goal for next month: learn my camera! wedding in one month!
7. Favorite piece of clothing: bcbg ballet flats
8. Which (if any) other resolutions did you accomplish?: i started teaching jayden sign language

Restfull sleep.

So go ahead and judge me, but I got Emfamil Restfull for Jayden today. It's a newer formula that is supposed to help babies sleep better at night. Apparently it thickens in their belly so it digests slower, so they feel full longer and don't wake up as often. Sue me that I want a full nights sleep, for me AND him. We'll see how it works. Tonight is the first night. I'll keep you updated. =]

Wrinkles be gone!

So I got NuBrilliance last week.. I have some wrinkles I don't like, sue me. I figure that it's better to attack these while I'm young. Anyhoo. NuBrilliance is an at home microdermabrasion system. I was skeptical at first, obviously, it was on an infomercial... but I looked up reviews online and couldn't find ONE bad one. There was something like 6300 reviews on Sephora for it and it STILL had 5 stars. So I caved.
Against my esthetician's (Lindsey) advice, I did it this morning (she said I should wait until before bed because my skin might get a little red). Well... Let me just say, I've only used it once but can already tell the difference! It's amazing. Some of my forehead wrinkles got VISIBLY smoother, all of my skin is suppppperrrr soft. I love it!!! My skin is a little pink, but I'm expecting it to fade in an hour or so, plenty of time before we go do anything today.

So, as you can tell, I HIGHLY recommend it. The 30-day trial is $14.95, and after that it's $70/month for three months, which I can deal with. Lindsey was saying that one microderm in the salon is close to $200.

So much to do, so little time

I feel like there's SO much going on right now.

I'm in the home stretch of this semester,thank goodness. I will be very excited to not have to deal with environmental science for a while. Unfortunately I'm going to be doing summer classes. We get paid for the GI bill for summer classes, and I figure it is my way of contributing to the income during that time... oh well, at least I should get better classes this time around.

San Diego is fast approaching. I'll be there in about a week and a half. It's funny because I was SOOO excited and anxious this last time I went to CA, but for some reason it's not really sinking in this time. I think I'm more worried about money this time. I know I'm going to be spending more down there (I won't be at my parents so we'll be eating out a lot, and I have to get my hair cut at Hair, Body, and Soul. Plus a night at Hennessey's, I'm sure a mani/pedi.... I dono. Just stressed. I'm sure it will be a BLAST but I just really don't want to come back broke. haha.

Easter is Sunday. I'm excited because it's Jayden's first Easter, and that is it. No plans. Probably just hanging out like usual. I'm trying to pull teeth to get AJ to take him to see the Easter Bunny. He says, "why?" I said, "Because in 6 years, when we don't have that picture, I'll be pissed." True. I didn't even really wanna go, but then I thought about it and realized that is sooo true. I'm already pissed that we didn't take "newborn" shots. =[

AJ hasn't been working much. Which is lame. They brought all the engineers to the ground, and a new class marked up, so he's had four days in row off so far, and he's pretty sure he's going to have tomorrow off too. You'd think it'd be cool, but he's on call, so at any point he can get called to work, so it's hard to do anything. =[ We've been trying to go back to Alliance for a while now, and you would think this would be the perfect opportunity, but seeing as it's 4 hours away, and he could get called at any time, not such a great idea. Oh well.

AJ's home from the dentist.... I'll come back later. =]

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ETSY♥

I am obessed with ETSY right now. I want to buy SO many newborn beanies and things for photo shoots, but I don't have a newborn to shoot. =[ So, alas, I will refrain from spending $$$ on any until I have a shoot booked. Sad.

Today:
-I found out I got a B+ on a midterm I was scared I was going to get a D on.
-It rained.
-I organized Jayden's closet.
-Updated 365.
-Sorted out which of Jayden's old clothes we're going to give away (and organized those).
-Did laundry.
-Got Jayden to nap, on the floor (NOT SWING!!!!)

For some reason I feel REALLY productive. haha. When I write it down it doesn't seem like as much. =[

hammydowns

It's a sad day for a momma when she has to go through all of the clothes that no longer fit her baby. I filled up TWO garbage bags of some of my favorite outfits that he doesn't fit into anymore. We're waiting to find out from two of our friends if they're having boys or not.
I was blessed enough to have Lindsey have friend who had a boy about a year before I had Jayden, and she gave me two TOTES (yes, totes) full of clothes. And even though buying clothes for your new baby is one of the perks of being a new mommy, I now realize how much of a blessing having those clothes was, especially if they're in good condition. So I'm planning to pass them, and all of the other clothes we bought Jayden, on. I'm sad to see some of my favorite outfits of his go, but only so many outfits can go in his baby box, so I have to pick and choose. =]

Laundry List

Hmmm lots to talk about today, but I probably won't get to it all... I agreed to do school this summer, so I can make money and pay off my credit card.. hopefully raising my credit score to help get a loan for a house. YAY!
Jayden is growing like crazy, and as much as I miss how little he was, I love that he likes to play now, and just in time for summer.
I've decided that I really need to work a bunch this month (if possible) because I'm going to CA again in about two weeks (eek). I really want to get my hair cut at Hair, Body, and Soul by Sarah because it was AMAZING last time.
My momma thinks she's going to be able to come out in June when she had originally taken time off for my brothers wedding (which no one knows what's happening with). So I'm excited to show my momma how pretty Colorado is when it's sunny and green.
AJ and I are awesome. We've really opened up about certain things that have been weighing on me emotionally, so that's good. I think that sometime this summer we're going to just go "away" for the weekend. Maybe even just to downtown denver and stay in a hotel, just escape. =]
I REALLY want to get motivated to go to the gym, I just can't seem to, at least with Jayden. I miss the days when I would go to work at the Marriott, go straight to the gym, go tanning, go home, eat lunch, shower, (MAYBE nap), and then go to Chili's. As much as working SO much sucked... it was probably my FAVORITE time of my life... that sounds weird, but I was SO motivated back then, and I was honestly happy with my life. I had GREAT friends, loved BOTH of my jobs, and lived up my days off. I'd really like to get back to those days. I think I might just look up 24 hr fitness memberships because they offer childcare. We'll see.

Hmm, what else?? Nothing now I don't think. I'm gonna head to bed early tonight cause I can. =]

Screw you MSCD

So MSCD professors are LAMEEEEE, at least online ones. I've written all THREE of my professors and not ONE of them has gotten back to me. Why say, "Email me if you have questions about the project" if you're not going to reply!? UGHHHH. So frustrating!

Def won't be going there again next semester.

CA v CO.

Friday: 80 degrees
Saturday: 85 degrees
Sunday: 30 degrees
Monday: 35 degrees
Tuesday: 70 degrees

Just part of why I am LOVING life in Colorado. Sure, I miss my friends and family in California. I miss the beach. I miss going to the city. But I am DAMN proud of what I have here in Colorado, and I am DETERMINED to make this year one to remember! Lake days, fourth of July celebrations, rockies games, maybe a broncos game, tailgating, hiking in the mountains, buying a new car, a new house, building a snowman, dressing up for halloween, the list goes on, and I am STOKED!


(ps. I wrote a nice long blog about my trip to CA, but it didn't save [GRR], so I'll try and rewrite it later.)

March Reflections

1. Favorite song/band of the month: "Hold it against me" Britney Spears
2. Favorite 365 picture of the month: Day 62 or 74... =]
3. Best memory from month: Seeing my parents with Jayden.
4. Biggest milestone for Jayden: starting to eat cereal, playing with toys
5. Biggest accomplishment of the month: sticking with school and doing realitively well. Putting money into savings.
6. Goal for next month: WORK OUT! ugh I put this off TOO much! Read my camera books/dvds
7. Favorite piece of clothing: A&F jeans
8. Which (if any) other resolutions did you accomplish?: Attemped to build bridge & can knock one visit to ca off my list.

Why Your Waiter Hates You pt. 3

ahahha so true.

Unexpected me-time

So the babysitter is here, watching Jayden while I do homework. I really only needed her to come over so I could do one short project that is due on Monday, but I can't do it any other time because I leave for CA on Saturday, and she is going to Virgina tomorrow. The project ended up taking me all of 30 minutes to finish, but I can't find it in me to send her home. Haha. I like having two hours just to myself, even if it means writing about something as mundane as what a mullein plant is, and it's purposes. So alas, I sit, holed up in the bedroom, with my coke, some chips, my laptop, and my peace of mind knowing that if Jayden cries, I don't have to be the one to run and take care of him. Ahhh.

Yesterday was great. I just have to throw that out there. On Tuesday it was AJ's birthday, and he didn't want to do anything special. We went to Walmart, then to Game Stop so he could trade in some games. He didn't want anything special for dinner, so we just came home. I decided to let him play his new video game the whole night while I took care of Jayden. Usually he'll play for an hour before I get too frustrated that he's *right* there, and I can't "play" with him, so he stops, but I figured that it was his bday, I'll let him play as long as he wants.
Well, he must've been really thankful for that because yesterday he got off work around 3, and instead of going straight to get his hair cut, he knew Jayden was being fussy, so he came and picked us up (Jayden gets instantly happy when he see's AJ, and is in a new place). We came home, I cooked dinner while AJ watching Jayden, and then AJ told me to go tanning and "take your time." Huh?? Usually when I leave he wants me to rush home! Since he was being nice, I decided to do the short bed, came home, and AJ was giving Jayden a bath. Without me asking him to! He had made all the bottles, cleaned up the apartment, and was giving him a bath. I felt SO spoiled I didn't know what to do. So I offered to feed Jayden and put him to bed. If only every night was like that. haha.

birthday blues

So today is my 25th birthday... so far, kind of a let down. AJ went on a road job monday night at 10, so we weren't sure when he'd be home, so that was lame. Then Jayden didn't sleep much. And I just felt super lonely. A bunch of people have written me on facebook, which should make me feel better, but it's not the same.

While I was in the shower I thought things were taking a turn for the better because AJ was on his way home. He came home with flowers and cake, hung out for about 45 minutes, and has been sleeping since. I don't want to make him feel bad, but I really hoped that the BN would just take a day off today. He's scheduled to go back out tonight around 11, which sucks because he'll be gone until Friday night, which means he probably won't get to go out downtown (something I have been looking forward to since January).

I just wish I was in California right now, sad part is that I could have been. I wish I was around my friends in Vista, or even better, I wish Lindsey was here. She has a special way of making everything fun... She was supposed to come out tomorrow for the weekend, but her work wouldn't let her off, so now she's not.

I feel like my birthday is the only day left that is supposed to be about me only, all other holidays are now for Jayden, which is fine, but I was just hoping for a better day. Instead I went to return some things for AJ, went to Target to get medicine for Jayden, and ate Wendy's for lunch. =[

Hopefully when Alyssa comes over at 3:00 my day will start to turn around.

Even worse, forcasts said it was supposed to be 70+ out today, and we're barely pushing 50.

I'm trying to think of today as just another day, nothing special, but it's hard, for some reason I was really looking forward to this birthday.

♥

Got myself a pair of Lucky Brand Jeans (my first), and saw this and thought it was cute. =]

My Life In 30 Days- Day 30

Day 30- A picture of someone you miss. I miss my girls from CA, especially Jessica and Emily. They have a special way of making me feel at home, even when they came to Denver. I'm super excited to see them in the next couple of months.

My Life In 30 Days- Day 29

Day 29- A picture that makes you smile.
I love the beach, and I love knowing that when I go back to California it's there waiting for me. Makes me warm and tingly all over. =]

My Life In 30 Days- Day 28

Day 28- Something you're scared of.
This picture makes me cringe. I HATEEEE having my blood drawn/getting an IV. Getting a regular shot, like a flu shot, doesn't really bother me, but having someone stick a needle in me, and draw something out is just disgusting to me. It has gotten to the point where, if I'm thinking about it, you CANNOT touch the inside of my elbow, I will FREAK out. If I'm not thinking about it it might be ok, but usually the inside of my elbow, and the backs of my knees are HUGE no no's.
Being pregnant was def a challenge with the monthly blood tests, and the IV for 3 days. =[

My Life In 30 Days- Day 27

Day 27- A picture of yourself with a family member.
This picture is of me and my brother at my grandparents 50th anniversary party. I think it was probably 8 years ago or so...

My Life In 30 Days- Day 26

Day 26- Something that means a lot to you.
My relationship with AJ means a lot to me. He's very understanding and works hard to support me and Jayden. We vibe together extremely well.

My Life In 30 Days- Day 25

Day 25- A picture of your day.
Today is our one-year anniversary in Colorado, so we "accidentally" went exploring. We went out with the intention of going to look at a new car for me, but found the dealership was closed, so we ended up just driving around. We went to Golden, and took some pretty pictures there, but I was a bit upset that I didn't have my Rebel with me (I only thought we were going car shopping!) Then on the way back from Golden, we ended up passing by Columbine High School and I basically begged AJ to stop so I could walk around and take pictures. It was so strange knowing what happend there 11 years ago. We weren't able to find the memorial, but I took some pretty cool pictures anyways. =] Makes me want to buy a book about the massacre and read it.

B-Hobo

YAY! AJ just got me my Kelly Moore B-Hobo bag! Such a great surprise! Super excited!

After taking my camera to the park with Jayden the other day I understand just how important a good camera bag is! The whole time I was SO nervous that one of my lenses was going to fall out of the bag, and that would be no buneo!

My Life In 30 Days- Day 24

Day 24- A picture of something you wish you could change.
I wish I could change the relatioship I have with AJ's mom and sister. It seems like I can never do anything right with either of them, no matter my efforts. I don't know why neither of them like me, but I know it makes AJ's life so much harder. I've tried quite a few times, but it still seems like a close relationship with them is just not in the cards.

February Reflections

I know it's the 4th, but honestly, I forgot. =]

1. Favorite song/band of the month: Taylor Swift
2. Favorite 365 picture of the month: Day 38.
3. Best memory from month: Getting my camera and laptop... and plane tickets to california.
4. Biggest milestone for Jayden: standing with only "balance support"
5. Biggest accomplishment of the month: Getting my camera and laptop
6. Goal for next month: Take more photos/keep up on p90x
7. Favorite piece of clothing: A&F jeans
8. Which (if any) other resolutions did you accomplish?: started P90x

My Life In 30 Days- Day 23

Day 23- A picture of your favorite book.
I planned to make this picture more interesting, but this book is in the garage, and that's just too much work for a Friday morning. =]

This book is SO inspirational and amazingly interesting. It's about a woman who is stuck in pologamy against her will. Her husband has 5 other wives and over 40 children. She does not want that lifestyle and plans to escape, but will only do so with all 8 of her children. The things she goes through are truly amazing. I love books like this.

My Life In 30 Days- Day 22

Day 22- A picture of something you wish you were better at.
I wish I was better at my DSLR. I know my way around my point and shoot just fine (like most), but my DSLR is pretty complicated. I'm working on getting better tho, and am determined to master it by the end of this year.

My Life In 30 Days- Day 21

Day 21- A picture of something you wish you could forget.
I chose my debt. I don't so much wish that I could "forget" it, but I wish it didn't exist. I'm not in too deep, but it's just always kind of looming over me.

Wedding!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHH! So I was just asked to photograph a wedding! One of AJ's best friend's sister is getting married in June and wants me to take her photos! I am SOO excited! I have a LOT of practice/learning to do!

I'm soo stoked! I'm going to sign up for a wedding workshop asap!

Consider this the beginning of my new career!

My wish list

So I've got a pretty intense wishlist these days.

#1 Kelly Moore B-Hobo bag in heather grey. This camera bag has AWESOME reviews, and is just super cute!

It will hold my camera, two lenses, extra batteries, and a bunch of other nicknacks. Plus it has a longer shoulder strap so you can wear it messanger style.

#2 I found this new software online that gives you a little "taste" of it, and shows you some tutorials on how to use it. It's called "Totally Rad." It's a division of photoshop but more user friendly.




I can't decide which one I want to get first. Part of me thinks the software would be more beneficial, but I don't even have a camera bag so that may be a better pick. Either way, it has inspired me to pick up extra shifts whenever possible. The bag is $160, and the software is $140. Gotta start saving my pennies!

March Maddness!

I'm super excited about this month.

On the 17th my bestest friend will be here to help celebrate mine and AJ's birthday! She inspires me to go out and explore Colorado, so I know when she comes we'll go hiking, to the park, etc. Lotsa photo opportuinites. And she's totally down for a little shoot. =]
Then, the very next weekend I'll be going to California for the first time in over a year. Super exciting. My family and some friends will get to meet Jayden, and I'll finally get my Togo's/Round Table Pizza fix! haha. Not to mention a bunch of photo opportunities there also!

I'm so excited! It's MARCH!!!

My Life In 30 Days- Day 20

Day 20- A place where you would love to travel.
I'd love to go to Jamaica. I really want to so somewhere that has the clear as day water, gorgeous beaches, and not TOO hot. Maybe one day. =]

My Life In 30 Days- Day 19

Day 19- A picture of yourself when you were little.
This is a picture of me and my Grandpa Sonnenfelt when I was about 9 months old. He died when I was only 5 years old, but he still lives in all of us.













This is a picture of me and my dad when I was probably 7 or 8 years old. One of my favorites of us.

My Life In 30 Days- Day 18

Day 18- A picture of one of your biggest insecurities.
I'd say my profile is my biggest insecurity. My jaw line is really messed up, and it's something that only surgery can fix. So either I live with it, or get surgery... I'll probably just deal with it. =]

My Life In 30 Days- Day 17

Day 17- A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.
Jayden Chase Loch- October 29, 2010- I'm not sure there is anything that can change your life as much as having a baby. Jayden has quickly turned my world upside down, but in the best way possible. I do miss being able to run out of the house in a moments notice, or going out on date nights without having to worry about a babysitter, but I dont miss it nearly as much as I love him. His little smiles and coos, and laughs warm my heart and feed my soul.

My Life In 30 Days- Day 16

Day 16- A picture of someone who inspires you.
I can't choose just one person, because it's really a two-person thing. My parents inspire me. Both of them. Not only with how much they have both accomplished seperately, but what they have accomplished together. They met on a blind date over 34 years ago. They have been married 33 years and counting. I have NEVER once seen them fight. They are amazing parents and have stuck by my brother and I even when we didn't follow the path they wanted for us. Both of them are amazing, and I could not have asked for better parents.

Editing

So I'm beginning to realize that it's not all about the camera, a lot of it has to do with editing. In fact, I'm sure that if you even have a really crappy camera (like my point and shoot), with good editing you can get just as good of photos.

Now, that's not to say that I don't love my new camera, it's just hard to learn. So I've got a lot of learning to do, and what seems like no time to do it in. Hopefully I can find the time soon because I'm really anxious to get out there. Until then, I'm just going to have to take what shots I can, and focus on the thing I do know how to do, edit.


Goodnight world.♥

My Life In 30 Days- Day 15

Day 15- Something you want to do before you die.
I'd really like to get my bachelors degree. I have put off doing it for so long, but I'd really like to be able to say that I am a college graduate. I'm not sure what I'll major in, probably something like Business Management, but just being able to graduate would be amazing.

Canon Love.

My new love, a Canon Rebel XS1000♥



I can't wait to get out and take pictures!!!

My Life In 30 Days- Day 14

Day 14- A picture of someone you can't imagine your life without
I chose AJ. It may seem corney, but I honestly don't know what I would be doing without him in my life. I know it wouldn't be nearly as good though. He really is my best friend. He motivates me to be better, try my hardest, and push myself, more than anyone ever has.

A new beginning, sort of...

I'm sitting with Jayden, in his room, while he's in his bouncy chair, on my new computer. I love the feeling of having my own computer, not to mention it's pretty cool. haha. I once again have ALL of my pictures, which is amazing. One of these days when I am baby free, I'm going to go through all of my pictures and orgainze them better. That's one thing I should've put on my New Year's Resolutions, but didn't... Oh well, maybe I'll start it this year, and put it on my list for next year.

I started P90x today. Ouchie. But it's going to be totally worth it, I can already tell...

I think Jayden is going through another growth spurt. He slept SO much today and last night, that's the only thing I can think it would be.

Southwest was having a sale on tickets to California, so I bought a roundtrip ticket to San Diego for May 3-7. My mom will be there to take care of Grandpa and Gramps, and I'd really like to see my friends in San Diego, so the timing was right. Only downside is that I think this is going to make the trip to Vegas for Nate & Alyssa's bachelor/ette party a no go. But I suppose we'll see.

AJ wants to go to Alliance this weekend to take some stuff back there, and I want to go because I should be getting my camera tomorrow, and then I could take more pictures, but I'd really like to pick up an extra shift at work to pay for my plane ticket. I'm torn. I think I'm just going to pick up the shift and try to make some money. He's not going to be on this job much longer, so I may as well do it while I can. The guy whose job he's working is coming back the beginning of March, so then AJ will be back to sparatic work. Boo. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.

Alright, I'm going to get lil man ready for bath/bed. Goodnight!

My Life In 30 Days- Day 13

Day 13- A picture of your favorite band/artist
I chose Taylor Swift. I love so many different bands, but I have come to realize that I ADORE Taylor Swift. All of her songs are great. And they can always put me in a good mood.

ambition

I feel like I've got a lot of ambition lately. I wish I could go to work more, so I could make more of my own money, and I'm trying to find ways to do that without taking away from AJ working.
I am SO anxious to start my photography website, but I kind of want to wait until I get some more photos to do so, but I'm *so* excited that I think I won't be able to hold back for too much longer.
I get my camera, a Rebel XS 1000D on Wednesday/Thursday and want to get out and take pictures the SECOND it gets here, but seeing as I want to be a lifestyle photographer, I have to wait until I can find someone to take pictures of... I'm hoping I can convince AJ to take Jayden to the park so I can take pictures of them.
I get my laptop on Tuesday/Wednesday... I can't wait to have my own computer again. I love AJ for letting me use his while I saved up to get my own, but it's SO different when it's your own. I can put all of my pictures on it, even the ones from my desktop... I can download music freely. I just think that it's going to be a great, almost "life changing" thing, which sounds weird, but just having my own "space" will be great. =]
I'm really excited to start P90x in the next couple of weeks (just waiting on the discs from Nate). I think it will really motivate me to stay on top of my fitness. I've always said that I cannot diet for the life of me, if i see something that I want to eat, I'll probably eat it. Haha. At least I'm a realist when it comes to that. So working out is my only option. And I know that AJ really wants to start working out, but has a hard time finding time to go to the gym, so maybe he'll be able to do it with me. =]

There's just so much going on it feel like, and I'm actually really enjoying it. This whole photography thing has made me SO excited, I cannot wait. I have never been this excited, for this long, in a while, at least when it comes to a career, and I'm really hoping that I can make it into a career.

This year, like last year, seems to have a lot in store!

AHHHH!

My Life in 30 Days- Day 12

Day 12- A picture of something you love
I chose a picture of Jayden smiling. I LOVE when he just looks at me, or AJ and just smiles, it lights up my day. It could be the worst day, and then he smiles and it's all better.

My Life in 30 Days- Day 11

Day 11- A picture of something you hate.
I hate the distance I am from my "homes." My home, where my family is, in Hayward, my home, where my friends are, in Vista. I hate that when I finally get to visit California that I have to chose between Hayward and Vista. =[

My Life in 30 Days- Day 10

Day 10- A picture of you and the person you do the most messed up things with.
I'm a realtively goodytwoshoes, so I dont have many things to choose from, but I'd have to say that Jenn was probably the winner in this category. From freezing lindseys underwear, to stealing my 21st bday glasses...

My Life in 30 Days- Day 9

Day 9- A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
I chose my Lindsey Bell. She has MOST DEFINITELY gotten me through the most. One INTENSE breakup, introduced me to the love of my life. Best Auntie to my son. She's *always* been there for me, no matter what. Love you Bell!

My Life in 30 Days- Day 8

Day 8- A picture that makes you laugh.
Jayden and his holdup. Hahhaaha

My Life in 30 Days- Day 7

Day 7- A picture of your most prized item.
I chose my photo albums. I would just say my pictures in general are my most prized items, but that would require me taking a picture of two computers.

My Life in 30 Days- Day 6

Day 6- A picture of someone you would want to trade places with for one day.
I chose Ellen Degeneres. Honestly, I stole this idea from Lindsey, but I would SO love to spend a day in her life. She seems SO carefree, and like her ultimate goal is to have fun, and I would LOVE that.